SB ’07? More like SB ‘0-heaven!

My apologies for the lack of updates lately, just haven’t found the time to sit down and chill for a while. CET actually put our Spring Break a couple weeks before the national May 1st holiday. This was definitely a good move since the airports and train stations we went to were only some what crowded and not packed beyond capacity.

The first leg of SB ’07 took seven of us to Shanghai for a few days. I got a chance to relax at my sister’s apartment and take in the big city. We managed to take a couple on small trips to Suzhou and Hangzhou, just outside of Shanghai.

Suzhou was apparently renown for its beautiful gardens and beautiful women… it had neither. We stepped foot out of the Suzhou train station and into Port au Prince, Haiti. It was hot and dusty, everyone was pushing for a place in line, and the beggars were relentless. When we finally got into a cab and headed downtown, things started to look a little better. We were dropped off in the town center in a giant shopping area. It was a pretty vibrant happening place but it just didn’t seem like the serene, picturesque city I’d read so much about. The most obvious feature of these market streets were the ubiquitous signs for KFC. Emperor Sanders’ presence remains strong in Suzhou because his smiling face was everywhere. They even had little shuttle carts that would transport people from one KFC to another. After our delicious fried chicken lunch we decided to check out these bad ass gardens. These weren’t like the botanical gardens we see in US cities with the lush flora and spots to lay in the shade, these were just a bunch of rock gardens. Though they were beautifully designed and very peaceful to be in, you’ve seen one rock garden you’ve pretty much seen them all. We pretty much spent the day checking out the gardens and riding around town on petty cabs*. That was pretty much the gist of our Suzhou excursion, we returned to Shanghai that night with a pretty mediocre impression of the place.

A couple days later we set off for Hangzhou. This place is beautiful. It’s a scenic city built around West Lake. The parks were gorgeous, the islands on the lake were great and the city was generally very laid back and easy going. Christina’s cousin Justin lives in Hangzhou and was kind enough to show us around the place. The hostel we stayed in was located at the foot of a small mountain about ten minutes around from West Lake. We spent most of the first slowly moving along the lake area. We finally made it over to the other side at around six in the evening. We decided to all rent bikes and ride all the way around the lake back to our hostel before we went out to eat. This was by far one of the best moments I’ve had in China. The ride was awesome. We had the city on one side of us and the lake view on the other. It rained the next day so didn’t really get to do or see much. We happily returned to Shanghai to prep for what we all knew would be the greatest part of SB 07… Sanya, Hainan.

Sanya is pretty much known as the Hawaii of China. It’s got gorgeous, year round warm weather, pristine blue water beaches, and this bad ass place called Monkey Island full of these tiny ass monkeys. Needless to say we were like a bunch of giddy school children when the plane touched down in Sanya. We got our bags, negotiated a cab fare, and we were on our way to our hostel. The cab ride pretty much went like this: “Fuck yeah! Sanya!!!” “Man check out those golf courses!” “Look at all the bright lights!” “Hmm, there sure are a lot of signs in Russian…” “Hey you guys seen any other foreigners on the streets, these all seem like locals?” “Umm… why’s the cab turning into a dark alley?” “Good God is this the hostel?”

The Blue Sky International Youth Hostel, supposedly one of the best hostels to stay in while in Sanya, was pretty horrendous. I felt like I would get hepatitis just looking at it When the ads for the hostel said located in the city center, they actually meant surrounded by shady locals. When it said a five minute walk to the beach, they failed to mention it was in the back of an alley that filled daily with fresh piles of garbage. But no matter, we were determined to have fun no matter how badly we feared for our safety. There were two bars within walking distance of our place. One was Sky Bar, the other was Rainbow. I instantly assumed Rainbow was a gay bar so I asked the hostel manager about Sky. His exact words were this: “If you want to drink vodka and get into fights with Russian Mafia, go to Sky Bar.” To Rainbow we marched…

Our Rainbow experience did not start off very well. It’s located on the first floor of an apartment building so there were plenty of locals loitering in the area. We were lucky enough to witness a full blown domestic dispute right in front of the bar. We’re talking the type of shit you see on cops. The guys didn’t have shirts on, I think one woman was trying to fight one of the guys, little kids were just standing there watches. We seemed to be fully immersed in all that Sanya had to offer. Any apprehension I had about Rainbow was quickly lifted. This place was awesome. Amazing burgers, adorable waitresses, and a music list featuring all the forgotten hits of the 90’s. We loved Rainbow so much a lot of us ate there five meals in a row. The one saving grace about the hostel was that is was a short walk to Rainbow, one of the best bar/grills I’ve ever been to.

The beaches of Sanya were pretty damn nice. The beach closest to us was Dadong Hai, frequently mostly by locals and Russian tourists. Unfortunately these Russians weren’t the Maria Sharapova type, but the Olga from northern Siberia type. But hey, if you look like that and still have the confidence to wear a skimpy bikini, don’t let my looks of sheer terror stop you, more power to them. The locals were equally as lovely. If it wasn’t the naked babies running around with a care in the world, it was the Jet Ski vendors hounding you to rent their shit. The greatest still were the four locals guys that made little sand mounds to prop themselves on so they could blatantly gawk at Vicki sun bathing. These pervs made no attempt to hide where they were looking. The creepy factor was definitely high on that beach.

The following day we headed for Monkey Island. Out of the ten people who went to Sanya, Vahan was by far the most excited about idea of an island run amuck with monkeys. He’d been building up the island for weeks now and now he would finally get a chance to experience it in person. We all headed to the bus stop that would take us to Monkey Island and along the way we see a little boy and his dad standing by a tree. Normally I would think nothing of this except that the kid was literally in the middle of taking a shit right there on the street. All of us were pretty disgusted by this but Vahan was so affected by this he had to abandon his Monkey Island destiny and head back to vomit. The island itself was pretty cool. Monkeys everywhere, swooping down from trees and stealing people’s drinks, pretty much everything I imagined an island of monkeys would be.

At this point we had been in Sanya for two days and pretty disappointed with the place. Sure Rainbow was bad ass and Monkey Island was pretty fun, but the beaches were full of creepy locals and our hostel looked like something out of a Vietnamese POW camp. After some debate, the decision was made that we needed to get the fuck out of that area of town and head for more luxurious pastures. We’d be spending the night at the Crown Plaza Resort in Yalong Bay. It was about half an hour away from creepy beach and in an area packed with Western resorts. The place was beautiful. We spent our last few Sanya days in style.

All in all, SB ’07 was pretty unforgettable. Some places I want to revisit and spend longer in. Some places I would rather not have gone to. And some memories I would rather purge out of my mind, namely the huge Russians and local creeps.

Left: Emperor Sanders' presence in the heart of Suzhou
Center: One of the many gardens of Suzhou...

Right: Suzhou at night

Random shots from Hanzhou and the famous West Lake

Left: View from the cable car to Monkey Island.

Right: Entering Monkey Island. Definitely could have used the Jurassic Park theme sound playing in the background...

Left: Monkeys!

Center: Apparently monkeys love orange juice. They would jump out of no where and steal a bottle right out of a person's hand... but at least they know how to share.
Right: Some other little monkeys...

Left: Hair do... more like hair don't.

Center: I know this doesn't look like anything special, but I was absolutely amazed to see a parking meter in China.
Right: Yay Hangzhou!

*While these petty cabs were fun to ride around, they are clearly death traps. You basically have a 50 year old man riding a 20 year our bike with a makeshift seat in the back. There were times when me and Vahan were being taken around that I didn’t think our cabby would make it.