Shanghai days...

I’ve made it to China. I didn't think I was going to be jet lagged, but I've been passing out at 10 and waking up at 5 the past 2 nights. It's like I'm an 80 year old.

After months of hearing how horrendously cold the weather will get, turns out its no colder here than it is in Dallas… what a let down. Here’s hoping Beijing will be a frozen tundra so I can finally experience life as an Eskimo. My time in Shanghai ain’t too shabby… living at the Marriott, working out in the morning, lunching with the yuppies, shopping in the afternoon, dining at sushi restaurants in the evening. It’s what I imagine life would be like if I were an Orange County housewife…

The flight from Chicago to Shanghai went over the North Pole rather than the Pacific. It was a pretty cool view. The sun was barely peeking out over the horizon the whole time and I could see the massive sheets of ice down below. Northern Canada and Siberia are actually really beautiful landscape. As long as you're 40,000 ft above them sipping champagne in a climate controlled aircraft and not trying to survive the brutal winter in a shack, living under the constant threat of frost bite, cabin fever, and polar bears... But very beautiful nonetheless.

The vast nothing of the North Pole...

Shanghai is exactly how I remembered it, crowded and noisy with a slight hint of massive air pollution. For a city of close to 20 million, I'm shocked that there aren't more traffic accidents and cases of vehicular manslaughter. Chinese drivers ed must have been half an hour long because the only thing taxi drivers seem to know is red means slam on the brakes and green means floor it. Trying to cross the street is like a real life game of Frogger. All you can do is walk at a steady pace so that cars and bikes can avoid you.

So these past 48 or so hours in China have led me to one definite conclusion... I don’t know shit about Chinese. At this point I’m only understanding about every 5th word being spoken. This makes Chinese media both hilarious and terribly confusing. Like a real life Mad Libs that only I can play. I have been able to pick up essential phrases like “Starbucks” and “Which way to the sauna.” Most other things require half sentences and hand gestures worthy of Kabuki theater.

Panda Juice… *ding*